she's really like that

|Tonight|

Malam ini malam sabtu.

Malam Ah Boy main futsal di gym dan saya tinggal sorang sorang.

At present I am a limp.

I literally have to drag my right leg to move around.

The whole of my body's aching like cracking nuts.

Blame it on the empat kali terjatuh, terduduk, terhentak, terlentang while ice skating.

My biceps and triceps rasa macam being sliced.

I couldn't even potong the bawang properly!

But basically, I had fun that night. Hee!

It was actually my first time skating with Ah Boy.

And it was his first time skating.

It's kinda nice to skate around together really.

Will keep that up as a hobby.

|Plans|

I also vowed to join the gym.

Yup, you read that right.

Ah Boy's joining the gym for the Dec-May term for some handsome fee.

And I was like, why am I not utilizing the facilities when it's FOC for students.

So yeah.

But I haven't figured out what else I'll be doing other than swimming.

I am so not a gym person.

Tread-mills.

Exercise bikes.

Aerobic classes.

They don't excite me one bit.

Getting pert butts.

Flat abs.

Toned muscles.

Not bothered about them either.

So it's kinda hard to get myself committed to going.

Will have to put my hernia into consideration as well.

But yes, I definitely will join the gym next month.

I know Ah Boy will tug me along anyway.

|A confession to make|

I am 49 kg as of today Nov. 6, 2009.

And I don't like it.

I am pretty sure its them toxins that have started to pile up in my system.

The more I hate the American diet, the more I think I am now part of it.

If in the past I can't even finish up half a can of coke,

I can now gobble down the bottled coca-cola in one go!

So very much a part of the soda diet already!

Bad, bad!

Actually the ideal weight for my BMI is 52kg.

But I don't want to go that high.

I already feel heavy having to lug an extra 5kg in me!

I like to stay light and lean.

Even though many would say I don't look cute like my school days anymore.

Tak kesah lah kan.

Dah tak de nak ngorat sape sape lagi pun.

A-hah!

|On MJ|

Oh this is kind of tiba tiba.

Well I watched This Is It last night after I left the office.

And I can't pretend that I am not touched by this amazing man.

Not only touched by his giftedness as an entertainer, but for his personality.

He is so soft-spoken.

And I learned one great lesson from him,

That he always mentions "God Bless You" instead of saying the normal "Thank You" when thanking people.

I so love that.

Thanks MJ.

You reminded me something that I as a born Muslim ought to have done.

Shame on me.

|On the killing spree at Fort Hood|

I must say I feel sorry for the family of the killed armies.

I have no idea either about this.

An American Muslim.

Born and raised as an American.

With not just a medical degree at hand, but a psychiatry license.

I just don't know what could have triggered him into getting 12 killed and injuring tens and tens of others.

I don't want to digest everything the CNN says.

Could he be a victim of yet another anti-Muslim propaganda?

Trapped in a well-crafted conspiracy to further degrade the name of Islam?

We will never know.

|Academic progress|

I am in the peak of finishing up whatever assignments that's left of the semester.

And juggling my time with the never ending readings.

And the proposal,

As well as the literature review.

My advisor has added more variables to my research.

And up till now, I have no idea what the title's gon be like.

I think I've been re-titling it tens of times already!

But hey, I am so loving what I'll be doing for my research.

It kinda diverted 270 degrees if not 360 degrees than what was expected from me by UPM.

But push that requirement till later, will work on those fancy-named cognition stuffs for my PhD dissertation.

Let me do something I fancy for this Early Research Requirement first-

On addressing the issues of school drop out rates among Orang Asli children.

Can you believe it that their drop out rate is 95%?

Out of 100 orang asli children entering standard 1, only about 5 will make it to form 5 11 years later.

Itu belum termasuk yang langsung tak pernah jejak kaki ke sekolah.

They find school insignificant, irrelevant.

They are forever trapped in a vicious circle.

They are poor, backward people.

Refusing to be educated because they cannot relate themselves with the need to be educated.

They don't go to school, and if they do, they leave.

Because they find school unrelated.

To hell with reading, writing, counting.

To hell with wearing uniforms.

To hell with homework.

To hell with teacher's scolding.

And so they remain uneducated.

And fall much further and further behind in this globalised world.

And always become the aim of heartless money-makers.

Offering them all sorts of worldly materials.

But how can they handle these fancy gadgets offered when they don't have adequate knowledge?

How can they maintain that lifestyle of having cable TVs, motorbikes, etc. when they have no money other than the government subsidies?

And it all goes back to the very basic need:

The need to be educated.

But they refuse to be schooled.

And so the cycle continues.

They are forever trapped in this circle of poverty and backwardness.

Numerous researches have been carried out on rooting out the Orang Asli problems.

Yes, they are poor.

Yes, they refuse to go to school.

Yes, we do know they find the standard curriculum hard to connect to their background knowledge.

What do they care when we talk about effects of fast-food diet when they don't know what in the name of Merlin's beard McD is!

So yes, yes, academicians, politicians, policy-makers, do know a different kind of education is needed for them.

To excite them to come to school.

To tell them school is fun.

That to learn is to be able to live a better life.

But no intervention, ever, has been made.

Not a single curriculum.

Up till today, it's always the same shaky curriculum as the mainstream children that these children need to digest everyday.

And when it's time for the major exams,

Most of these kids are told not to come and partake.

Why?

Because all that matters to these people who call themselves educators, is the need for a rising grade.

To prove in the newspapers that hey, this year's better than last year.

And it's forever like that.

[if its true, say them SPM English results keep increasing by year,

why then am I under the impression that sound English usage is still very poor among us? Tah lah kan.]

So anyway, Dad has been telling me that he has done enough research to root out the problems of these people.

It's my turn now as an edpsy'ist to address their different educational needs.

So this is basically what I will be doing.

Both for my ER and my doctoral dissertation,

I will dedicate half a decade of my academic life in planning, devising, and executing an intervention program for these children.

Although my field is suppose to be on developing critical minds, and researching about students patterns of thinking as they develop,

well hey, why can't I carry out my research plans on these kids, yeah?

Dad is one of the very few academic figures who dedicated his life researching about Orang Asli.

And since young, I am used to following him meeting up with these people from various sub-ethnics.

In the jungles.

In hilly terrains.

In the city.

In the kampongs.

At the back of my house,

Where the jungle they used to call home has been taken up for some 36-holed golfing area almost two decades ago.

I believe it is this exposure that had instill in me since young the need to help the needy and the marginalized.

Most of us, the mainstream people, what do we care of them?

I doubt anybody had any second thinking about these people when being mentioned.

With that being said, while I am now part of the Collaborative Reasoning Research Group,

And back in my faculty in UPM we have a research group specializing on education for at-risk children,

It has been my personal aspiration to have some close group of colleagues form a research group on the education of the poor and marginalized.

Many in the education field are of interest on finding new solutions to make better of the education system.

Creating new policies.

Introducing this approach.

That method.

This machine. That machine.

Which is great.

But to me, so long our education system is tied in the hands of the politicians,

And having to change the education minister every time the cabinet changes,

So long will it be subjected to political gambling.

With our children forever being guinea pigs of shallow-minded, mee-instant approaches.

Was one dahulu.

Ha-ha.

But I believed the generations after me suffered a lot more.

I hate the fact that they fail to realize that a failed education policy would mean that we would be producing a whole generation of unsoundly educated children.

I can't imagine the number of children being affected by the math and science in English policy.

I really can't imagine how many are suffering from this knowledge-gap, as a result of not being competent in English.

English hancur.

Maths and Science faham lompang lompang.

You get me?

So yeah.

I have no interest to be part of this rat race of what they call seeking sagacity and appear with some groundbreaking approach whatsoever.

My career path is clear:

That I want to work on the poor and the marginalized.

I will shoulder the No Child Is Left Behind slogan.

It may not sound fancy.

It may not sound chic.

People may not recognize my work.

People may not appreciate.

But if I could make one speck of difference in the lives of these people,

I am more than happy.

To me, this is my definition of satisfaction.

Together with my sister, we will continue from where Dad left of.

And I am just at step 1.

The proposal.

This is it.

It is also my desire to have my other friends specialized in other fields – from medicine and health sciences, to economics, engineering, humanities and other fields of social sciences – to also sit back and have a good thinking on where these poor and needy people stand in their career plans.

Are they already in your plan?

I pray so.

Have a good weekend everybody!

I'm off to Chicago tomorrow!